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player Combatives: How To


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Salutations Wayward Poster!

 

As you make your journey through our gracious forumfall you will soon figure out that your parents lied to you. Trolls exist and they litter our forum in vast quantity: large, small, passive aggressive, just plain annoying, the whole lot! And it is your job to know how to combat these monsters to insure our forums are a happy, caring bear friendly place to hang out and chat. That's what I am here for.

 

SO, without further adieu, I present you with TROLL COMBATIVE STRATEGIES  (unfinished version). So sit back, relax and let the knowledge slap you in the face.

 

27088824-portrait-of-young-teacher-point

 

Lets begin shall we?

 

 

Lesson 1: Always Know your Troll

 

Though all trolls are virtually the same in motive, trolls have different techniques & missions to get what they want!

 

Is your troll an attention deprived soul who's only mission in life is to be seen or heard by something other than their vblog??

 

Is your troll an aggressive soul who only wants to bait you into a fight so he can beat you at his own game?

 

Is your troll passive aggressive in their posts and wants to come out like the saint to the overall populous and achieve their Holy white knight armor?

 

These are all questions you must ask in order to successfully combat this monster in modern forumfall. After you know these answers

 

 

Lesson 2: Rules of Engagement

 

You must remember to never stoop to a trolls level, you must remain sane and in perfect mental state... like a Buddhist monk. If you reach down to their level, they will pull you down and beat you like the many of unfortunate heroes which have come before you! 

 

You cannot be afraid of what the trolls will say next. If you live in the next post, you will be beaten in the now post... and the now post is where the fight is!

 

Don't forget your courtesies. Trolls hate courtesies.

 

and finally,

 

Don't let them know you are fighting them! Because if they know, they will grow for they will feast on your hatred and angry... growing like the disease they are.

 

Now that you remember these 2 lessons, you are finally ready to wield your forumfall  Keyboard-Saber and advance to lesson 3.

 

keyboardwarriors.jpg

 

Lesson 3: Troll Combatives

 

 

You have finally made it! Now is time to unleash your fury on these pixal-ated fiends and defeat them for the better meant of forumfall!

 

Whats the secret?

 

What must you do?

 

 

 

 

 

Don't say anything.

 

 

Thats right. Don't use logic, don't write the infamous wall-o-text spilling your innermost feelings, don't deface everything they possibly say within a thread.

 

DON'T. SAY. A. WORD.

 

Stay on topic and forget they exist and rally your fellow comrades to do the same! And later, much much later in life when all the idiots that feed the trolls fade, you will be recognized as the heroes that you are. Saviors of this modern world.

 

 

Let that knowledge soak in for a bit.

 

book-hit-o.gif

 

This concludes my guide!

 

You can like or follow me on twitter/twitch or find me in the SOOPER SEKRIT SLACK if you want to tell me how to make my post better!

 

I hope you enjoyed my how to! May we forever prevail in this Troll war brothers.

You're hilarious dude, you deserve awards for your degree of wit and intelligence, you truly do.

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So, you keep talking about this slack channel like it's something where all the active posters are... I just imagine a bunch of neckbeards talking about their uber posts on the forums here.

 

Better to sit in a slack channel and appear to be a neckbeard, than to be the only active poster making up 10%+ of all posts and be proven a neckbeard.

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Better to sit in a slack channel and appear to be a neckbeard, than to be the only active poster making up 10%+ of all posts and be proven a neckbeard.

Better to contribute to the development of a game, than to sulk in slack because you can't wild out on the forums.

Skeggold, Skalmold, Skildir ro Klofnir

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whoa bro, what's with the personal attack? Are you taking offense to something I said? Shave ya neck then.

Channel your energy towards helping the game be the best it can be...

Skeggold, Skalmold, Skildir ro Klofnir

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Channel your energy towards helping the game be the best it can be...

 

Oh you mean like answering new players? Or transcripting web videos? Linking pre-existing threads? Referencing FAQs? I even helped you out when you were owned by the 5 post new account limit. It doesn't matter if it was as sheen, MichaelFlatley, or now VikingNail -- you contribute less than I do and I'm obvious tr0ll.

 

Seriously, what have you done around here other than prancing around on your high horse acting like you're contributing. All you're doing is playing Devil's Advocate to every game mechanic to the point where you don't even know what type of gamer you are.

 

Clip clop, neckbeard. Clip clop.

 

Brooklyn99Insider-Gina-Chelsea+Peretti-H

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Oh you mean like answering new players? Or transcripting web videos? Linking pre-existing threads? Referencing FAQs? I even helped you out when you were owned by the 5 post new account limit. It doesn't matter if it was as sheen, MichaelFlatley, or now VikingNail -- you contribute less than I do and I'm obvious tr0ll.

 

Seriously, what have you done around here other than prancing around on your high horse acting like you're contributing. All you're doing is playing Devil's Advocate to every game mechanic to the point where you don't even know what type of gamer you are.

 

Clip clop, neckbeard. Clip clop.

 

Brooklyn99Insider-Gina-Chelsea+Peretti-H

All these flavors and you choose salt?

 

Edit:  I'm not interested in a pissing contest here... I'm just interested in people actually trying to help the game be the game... instead of trying to turn the forums into their own weak version of 4chan. 

Edited by VIKINGNAIL

Skeggold, Skalmold, Skildir ro Klofnir

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All these flavors and you choose salt?

 

Edit:  I'm not interested in a pissing contest here... I'm just interested in people actually trying to help the game be the game... instead of trying to turn the forums into their own weak version of 4chan. 

pRlqaSb.png

 

All I see is a whole lot of talking and not enough doing.

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pRlqaSb.png

 

All I see is a whole lot of talking and not enough doing.

Oh the doing comes once they open up testing.... but I mean there has been some doing here... i've basically done the pseudo-hardcore trolls into the ground. 

Skeggold, Skalmold, Skildir ro Klofnir

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pRlqaSb.png

 

All I see is a whole lot of talking and not enough doing.

 

 

HAHAHA, super yikes~

 

I step outside into the real world, I come to this! Step outside, get some air VIKINGNAIL!  It's a nice summer day and nobody cares~

 

Nice informative guide knossos, I quite like it~ <3

 

Might I suggest that you put an addenum to your topic and let people know that there is an ignore feature on the profile edit. It really reduces the noise.

Edited by Lastgirl~

The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters. - Audrey Hepburn “:♡.•♬✧⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾*+:•*∴
Read more at brainyquote.com/search_results.html#KTJ4dHyeiltlKOTM.99

mz_Yr9k_I.jpg

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This seems to be true L-C,

You're gonna have to clarify... I have no idea what you are talking about...

 you haven't backed, so you won't even play alpha or beta. good riddance to the rolling 30's.

Honestly, you are the type of person that is much to competitive, has zero compassion for other people and think you are better than everyone else. You likely love to troll people on a day to day bases to get others angry and laugh about it. You make playing any online game unfun for everyone else.  -Kuroaka

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